Imagine you’re a driving coach ready to give your driver some feedback.
It’s a crucial moment for both of you and you want to make sure the conversation is productive and beneficial right? But let’s be honest sometimes those conversations can get heated and we all know that emotions can quickly turn a coaching session into a tense situation.
So how do we keep our cool and ensure that the session is a positive and constructive experience for both parties involved?
Understanding the Triggers: Why We Get Defensive
We all have our buttons and in the heat of the moment those buttons can get pushed! When our “fight-or-flight” instincts kick in our brains basically shut down the logical part and prioritize survival.
It’s like we’re suddenly back in prehistoric times facing down a saber-toothed tiger!
Think about it if you’re a coach with a strong safety mindset and you see a driver using their cell phone at the wheel your brain immediately goes into “threat mode.” This “saber-toothed tiger” response is a natural reaction but it can lead to poor communication and even escalate the situation.
Harnessing Self-Awareness: Recognizing the Signs
The key to managing those intense emotions is self-awareness.
The more we understand our triggers the better we can handle them.
So how do we know when our “fight-or-flight” response is kicking in? Here’s the thing: it’s often reflected in our bodies.
Think about it when we’re feeling stressed or defensive we might notice tension in our jaw a tightness in our chest or even sweaty palms.
These are all physical cues that our nervous system is on high alert.
Once we become aware of these signals we can take steps to calm down and regain control.
Returning to Center: Calming the Storm
So you’ve recognized those telltale signs that your nervous system is in overdrive.
Now what? The good news is there are simple techniques we can use to calm down and regain control of our emotions.
Taking a Break: A Moment of Calm
If possible the most effective way to cool down is to take a short break.
Step away from the situation breathe deeply and focus on your body.
Even a few minutes of quiet can help reset your nervous system and bring your emotions back into balance.
Breathing Techniques: A Quick Reset
If taking a break isn’t an option try these simple breathing techniques:
- Deep Breaths: Take a few deep breaths inhaling slowly through your nose and exhaling slowly through your mouth. Focus on the feeling of your breath and let it wash away the tension.
- Box Breathing: Inhale for a count of four hold for a count of four exhale for a count of four and hold for a count of four. This technique can help to regulate your heart rate and calm your mind.
- 4-7-8 Breathing: Inhale for a count of four hold for a count of seven and exhale for a count of eight. This method is known to induce relaxation and improve sleep.
Active Listening: Building a Bridge of Understanding
Now that we’ve calmed ourselves down it’s time to focus on the other person.
Active listening is a powerful tool that can defuse tension and build trust.
Reflecting Back: Showing You Care
When we actively listen we’re not just waiting for our turn to speak.
We’re truly engaged in the conversation trying to understand the other person’s perspective.
One powerful technique is reflective listening where we paraphrase what we hear back to the speaker to confirm our understanding.
Imagine saying something like “So what I’m hearing you say is… Is that correct?” This simple act of reflecting back shows the other person that you’re paying attention and that you value their input.
It helps to build a sense of connection and trust which can go a long way in defusing tension.
Finding Common Ground: Building a Foundation
Remember Stephen Covey’s famous quote “Seek first to understand then to be understood”? It’s all about finding common ground.
When we focus on understanding the other person’s perspective we create a foundation for a more constructive conversation.
Imagine for example that your driver is feeling frustrated because they’re having trouble navigating a new route.
Instead of jumping into “fix-it” mode take a moment to truly understand their frustration.
Perhaps they’re feeling overwhelmed or insecure.
Once you understand their perspective you can build a bridge of understanding by acknowledging their feelings and working together to find a solution.
Closing Strong: Ending on a Positive Note
The end of a coaching session is just as important as the beginning.
By closing the conversation effectively we can ensure that both parties leave feeling heard understood and empowered.
Summarizing the Agreement: A Clear Path Forward
At the end of the conversation recap the main points of the discussion and the agreed-upon next steps.
This helps to ensure that everyone is on the same page and that there are no misunderstandings.
Asking for Confirmation: Building Accountability
End the conversation by asking the driver to repeat back what they understood the next steps to be.
This step is vital for ensuring clarity and accountability.
By asking them to summarize you can identify any potential misunderstandings and clarify the path forward.
Maintaining a Positive Tone: Leaving on a High Note
Remember even when you’re asking for confirmation it’s important to maintain a positive tone and avoid sounding condescending.
Instead use phrases like “Just to make sure we’re on the same page why don’t you tell me what you think the next steps are?”
The Power of a Proactive Approach
By taking a proactive approach to driver coaching sessions we can create a more positive and productive environment.
It’s about being self-aware managing our emotions and truly listening to understand the other person’s perspective.
Remember a calm and constructive conversation is the key to building a stronger relationship with your drivers and achieving positive outcomes.